Today we are making French Onion soup and Reubens. But not just any French Onion soup, we are making homemade soup the manly way because the last thing we want is to be deemed effeminate. No sir! No funny winks from other guys in strange places or wide stances with tapping foots while trying to take a dump.
Here is what you are going to need:
For the soup:
While the stock is being brought to a boil grab a large pan and put the butter in it and melt the butter. Once the butter has melted throw your onions in the pan. If your pan can't hold all the onions at once split the onions and butter in half and do each half at one time. What we are looking to do is turn the onions into a nice medium brown color.
And once our onions get to a medium brown color they should look like this:
Your magical concoction should fill the whole building with the pleasant smell of sauteeing onion. If it doesn't smell pleasant chances are you burned them and need to start over moron after apologizing to your friends and begging them to stay. Dump the onions into the now simmering stock pot but DO NOT PUT YOUR ONION PAN IN THE SINK! See all the brown and black burned looking stuff on the bottom of the pan? Yeah? Well we need that yet. Turn the heat down for the pan to low and pour 6 - 8oz of bock beer into it.
After letting it sit there for a minute or so start scraping with a spatula. We want to scrape up as much of that crap as possible and mix it in with the beer. Once you are done with the scraping and mixing let it sit on low heat for a few minutes and then dump that into the stock pot.
From here there is no exact science to getting it just right as tastes vary. I use a combination of worcestershire sauce, sea salt and fresh ground pepper. You may want to use other spices. Be judicious as not much is needed. I would say that I use a little less than tablespoon of each. Continue to heat and tweak your soup until you are pleased with the flavor. Once you have found the perfect flavor to strengthen your bond with your friends take the stock pot off of the heat and turn your oven to broil. I recommend a low broiler setting. Grab some crocks and put some croutons in until the bottom of the crock is covered. Then pour your soup into each crock until each is full.
Cover it with some provolone cheese and then stick it in the oven to broil.
Pay careful attention as your friends deserve to not have their cheese turned black. Once the cheese begins to turn a golden brown pull the crocks out of the oven and turn the broiler off. There is no need to bring shame to your family by burning down your house with blatant stupidity.
Now it is time to make the Reubens. Grab some rye bread and pile on some corn beef, cheese, sauerkraut, and thousand island dressing. You can either fry them in a pan with butter or stick em in the oven. It really is your choice. The same rules apply however, don't burn the food or the dwelling!
Once the Reubens are done it is time to call your friends in to admire your talents and skills. If you did it right their first thought should be "Man, that guy is so much better than I am. I am nothing but a turd in comparison.".
Serve your food, partake, and then shove your hand deep down in your pants while drifting in and out of consciousness knowing that you have indeed won friends and influenced enemies!
Here is what you are going to need:
For the soup:
- 3lbs of onions. I would recommend getting a variety of onions until you have 3lbs worth.
- One bottle of double or triple bock beer (Stout is good too if you can't find an appropriate bock).
- 4oz of salted butter
- 32 oz of beef stock
- 32 oz of chicken stock
- salt
- pepper
- Worcestershire sauce
- Unseasoned croutons (or my suggestion would be Texas Toast Salt and Pepper croutons)
- A mild cheese (I prefer a mild provolone)
- Rye bread (preferably marbled).
- Corn Beef
- Swiss cheese or a mild provolone
- Sauerkraut
- Thousand Island dressing
While the stock is being brought to a boil grab a large pan and put the butter in it and melt the butter. Once the butter has melted throw your onions in the pan. If your pan can't hold all the onions at once split the onions and butter in half and do each half at one time. What we are looking to do is turn the onions into a nice medium brown color.
And once our onions get to a medium brown color they should look like this:
Your magical concoction should fill the whole building with the pleasant smell of sauteeing onion. If it doesn't smell pleasant chances are you burned them and need to start over moron after apologizing to your friends and begging them to stay. Dump the onions into the now simmering stock pot but DO NOT PUT YOUR ONION PAN IN THE SINK! See all the brown and black burned looking stuff on the bottom of the pan? Yeah? Well we need that yet. Turn the heat down for the pan to low and pour 6 - 8oz of bock beer into it.
After letting it sit there for a minute or so start scraping with a spatula. We want to scrape up as much of that crap as possible and mix it in with the beer. Once you are done with the scraping and mixing let it sit on low heat for a few minutes and then dump that into the stock pot.
From here there is no exact science to getting it just right as tastes vary. I use a combination of worcestershire sauce, sea salt and fresh ground pepper. You may want to use other spices. Be judicious as not much is needed. I would say that I use a little less than tablespoon of each. Continue to heat and tweak your soup until you are pleased with the flavor. Once you have found the perfect flavor to strengthen your bond with your friends take the stock pot off of the heat and turn your oven to broil. I recommend a low broiler setting. Grab some crocks and put some croutons in until the bottom of the crock is covered. Then pour your soup into each crock until each is full.
Cover it with some provolone cheese and then stick it in the oven to broil.
Pay careful attention as your friends deserve to not have their cheese turned black. Once the cheese begins to turn a golden brown pull the crocks out of the oven and turn the broiler off. There is no need to bring shame to your family by burning down your house with blatant stupidity.
Now it is time to make the Reubens. Grab some rye bread and pile on some corn beef, cheese, sauerkraut, and thousand island dressing. You can either fry them in a pan with butter or stick em in the oven. It really is your choice. The same rules apply however, don't burn the food or the dwelling!
Once the Reubens are done it is time to call your friends in to admire your talents and skills. If you did it right their first thought should be "Man, that guy is so much better than I am. I am nothing but a turd in comparison.".
Serve your food, partake, and then shove your hand deep down in your pants while drifting in and out of consciousness knowing that you have indeed won friends and influenced enemies!
Good on everything but cereal.
VERY true. YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!