BirdOPrey5 [JU]
Archived
Interesting... Though I'm sure if someone had a gun outside my house the last thing my dad would have done is toss me a set of keys to pursue him. Stil,well written.
********** said:Interesting... Though I'm sure if someone had a gun outside my house the last thing my dad would have done is toss me a set of keys to pursue him. Stil,well written.
MtnDew808 said:FAWK YOU RICH!!!!
I hate cliffhangers
The only thing I've noticed is a few places that could be reworded to flow better. But if your purpose is to just entertain us JUOT turds there is no sense in correcting it. Keep it coming!!Hedley Lamarr said:
Hey, if you notice mistakes that need corrected, please feel free to let me know. I can't learn anything without criticism.
********** said:Did the guy with the gun look like this?
I heard he was quite the car theif back then.
I will try to do better. I noticed a few things too, but I had already posted it and figured it would pass. I need to work on that though.MtnDew808 said:The only thing I've noticed is a few places that could be reworded to flow better. But if your purpose is to just entertain us JUOT turds there is no sense in correcting it. Keep it coming!!
jeepinfamily said:Damn it man, I almost got chills when you said "looking back I'm not sure that was the right thing to do." Keep up the good stories. One of the best things in reading these is that it is night time over here.
It almost feels like I'm a little kid and your reading me a bedtime story.Hedley Lamarr said:I am glad you enjoy the stories, they have actually been very fun to write.
Big Red said:Damn Rich, you've really got me hooked now! And I thought you said you'd never talked to them.
By all means, anytime anyone notices something that just doesn't make sense, let me know. Granted this is just all for fun with no intention of publishing, I am using it to practice on future styles of writing for an actual book I would like to write. Glad to hear you are enjoying the story.Jays89YJ said:Awesome. I noticed the grammar too, but figured I'd keep my mouth shut because it's online and when published, the publisher should fix it.
Well, if the publisher doesn't fix it properly, we can complain to them and get free books.Hedley Lamarr said:By all means, anytime anyone notices something that just doesn't make sense, let me know. Granted this is just all for fun with no intention of publishing, I am using it to practice on future styles of writing for an actual book I would like to write. Glad to hear you are enjoying the story.
Your in KS, just drive over there and chat.dvenom125 said:Dammit, i knew i should have waited longer to start reading that. now what are ya gonna do... charge us 2000 points each to get new installments?